World Clock
Even More Funny One Liner's 2nh1dom Even More Funny One Liner's 14dqd69 Even More Funny One Liner's 2j43a8p
Even More Funny One Liner's 2qnsjfmEven More Funny One Liner's Novyv9 Even More Funny One Liner's Erxw81Even More Funny One Liner's 295sfvoEven More Funny One Liner's 23w9lya Even More Funny One Liner's 159glg Even More Funny One Liner's Okc12pEven More Funny One Liner's 11v03fq Even More Funny One Liner's 2ptpab6Even More Funny One Liner's 20l2ef Even More Funny One Liner's 243rb6t

Even More Funny One Liner's

Go down

Even More Funny One Liner's Empty Even More Funny One Liner's

Post by Tanzanite/Cindy on Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:59 am

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

If you get to it and you can't do it, well there you jolly well are, aren't you.

If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Keep honking. I'm reloading.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

More hay, Trigger? No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!

Even More Funny One Liner's Cindyc10

Posts : 12071
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Back to top

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum